Courage in Life

My beloved PC is still under repair.:( Life without warcraftIII is SO boring! Got quite a bit of response for my last entry. Some gave the "omg" response (never thought i could be so bitchy?), some felt guilty and chose to avoid, some act blur, some confused (still pondering over did i do that?). Well, as the saying goes, life is full of ups and downs, you can't just expect everything to move on smoothly. Did something wrong? Face it! Nobody is gonna condemn you for a mistake, avoiding it is not gonna to make your life any better. All of us makes error in life, and we learn from them, if the way out is avoidance, there will be nothing learnt at the end of the day.

What is courage in life? Been pondering over this question for the past week. One can be so strong to face all difficulties in life, but when it comes to love, there's always fear in it. Fear of losing someone, fear of unrequitted love, fear of betrayal, fear of being cheated. Beginning to have the kind of awkward feeling again.... why am i so affected by the reactions, by the words and everything that happened.

Told Ked about how i felt that day, guess he was surprised by what i said. Seems like buddy also foresee that i have a rough road ahead, and true, the past days had been kind of rocky. The tremors of cold reactions was at times hurting. And i really think it's hard to withstand without any strong bond to start with. Guess i will just fulfil what i have promised and forget about the rest.

I've got a question recently. "What is your perspective analysis of love?" Well, love can never be analytical as no one can be rational enough to give love an analysis. I can give my subjective opinion of love though. To me, love occurs naturally and for a good cause. I remembered in my past entry, I wrote it's not about things they do or words they say, it's about things you can do for him, and words that you tell yourself about him. A state of selfless nature that you can do anything to give him happiness without expecting any return. That's love and it never disappears, only appear in different forms. A quote that i've always remembered:
LOVE is always patient and kind. LOVE is never jealous. LOVE is never boastful or conceited. LOVE is never rude or selfish. LOVE does not take offense and is not resentful. (Quote from "A Walk To Remember")

Next question : "What is your reason for settling down?" Well, i'm sure everyone says that he wishes to settle down but no one actually believes anyone who says it am i right? I didn't answer directly because i know there's no point explaining anything, only time will tell whether the person is speaking the truth. I guess there are people out there who believes me, as time has already proven to them. Back to the reasons, hmm... well, I want to settle down because i want him to know that he is gonna to have me for the rest of his life. Secondly, it's because i want him to end his search for his love of a lifetime. Thirdly, it's because i wish to give him a family that he can rely on for the rest of his life. And lastly, for his happiness till the very last moment i'm in his life.

I guess it's not easy to face these questions. It's easy to give an answer that sounds nice, but for one to really answer it with reality, it takes some courage i guess. To really sort out the kind of mix emotions within, to face love and all the possible consequences and lastly, prepare for commitments in future.