Courage in Life

My beloved PC is still under repair.:( Life without warcraftIII is SO boring! Got quite a bit of response for my last entry. Some gave the "omg" response (never thought i could be so bitchy?), some felt guilty and chose to avoid, some act blur, some confused (still pondering over did i do that?). Well, as the saying goes, life is full of ups and downs, you can't just expect everything to move on smoothly. Did something wrong? Face it! Nobody is gonna condemn you for a mistake, avoiding it is not gonna to make your life any better. All of us makes error in life, and we learn from them, if the way out is avoidance, there will be nothing learnt at the end of the day.

What is courage in life? Been pondering over this question for the past week. One can be so strong to face all difficulties in life, but when it comes to love, there's always fear in it. Fear of losing someone, fear of unrequitted love, fear of betrayal, fear of being cheated. Beginning to have the kind of awkward feeling again.... why am i so affected by the reactions, by the words and everything that happened.

Told Ked about how i felt that day, guess he was surprised by what i said. Seems like buddy also foresee that i have a rough road ahead, and true, the past days had been kind of rocky. The tremors of cold reactions was at times hurting. And i really think it's hard to withstand without any strong bond to start with. Guess i will just fulfil what i have promised and forget about the rest.

I've got a question recently. "What is your perspective analysis of love?" Well, love can never be analytical as no one can be rational enough to give love an analysis. I can give my subjective opinion of love though. To me, love occurs naturally and for a good cause. I remembered in my past entry, I wrote it's not about things they do or words they say, it's about things you can do for him, and words that you tell yourself about him. A state of selfless nature that you can do anything to give him happiness without expecting any return. That's love and it never disappears, only appear in different forms. A quote that i've always remembered:
LOVE is always patient and kind. LOVE is never jealous. LOVE is never boastful or conceited. LOVE is never rude or selfish. LOVE does not take offense and is not resentful. (Quote from "A Walk To Remember")

Next question : "What is your reason for settling down?" Well, i'm sure everyone says that he wishes to settle down but no one actually believes anyone who says it am i right? I didn't answer directly because i know there's no point explaining anything, only time will tell whether the person is speaking the truth. I guess there are people out there who believes me, as time has already proven to them. Back to the reasons, hmm... well, I want to settle down because i want him to know that he is gonna to have me for the rest of his life. Secondly, it's because i want him to end his search for his love of a lifetime. Thirdly, it's because i wish to give him a family that he can rely on for the rest of his life. And lastly, for his happiness till the very last moment i'm in his life.

I guess it's not easy to face these questions. It's easy to give an answer that sounds nice, but for one to really answer it with reality, it takes some courage i guess. To really sort out the kind of mix emotions within, to face love and all the possible consequences and lastly, prepare for commitments in future.

Dramas

Disclaimer: Contents below are purely my own thoughts, any occuring similarities are purely coincidence. Apologies for any case of suspected personal attack but honestly if you do feel the pinch, most probably you are guilty. :X

Didn't feel like blogging for the past week, things are getting kind of messy. Got quite pissed by a few incidents yesterday. Well, learned a few facts of life. Just don't get it why some people just comment without taking into consideration other people's feelings. Are men that selfish? Or is it that some of them just can't keep their comments to themselves and need to let everyone know. Trying to catch attention? Am i suppose to say "Wah! You are so knowledgeble leh! ". Or "wow, you are so observant!" (Duhzz)? It's ok to be bitchy once in a while, but when u keep doing it, it just turns people off. Learn to keep your mouth shut or mind your own busness if you meet someone bitchier than you are. Talking about scandalous, yes, i'm always labelled as one, but i tell myself as long as my conscious is clear, just let people comment, i don't see the need to defend or explain for myself. What about people scandaling behind my back? Interesting isn't it? Oops, am i getting too bitchy? (Aw, i'm so sorry but that's the way it is.)

Was thinking about the difference between real life drama and serial drama. The exciting part about life drama is that there are no chances of NGs for you. What you do will lead you on to your ending. No turning back. There is no script for you to follow either, you decide for your own path. Isn't it tiring enough to play your role in life, don't understand why some people can still stage their own drama and put up such entertaining acts. Trying to be someone else that you are not? Different kinds of people appear in my life everyday. Some pretend to be rich (so sorry , i'm not impressed), some try to be sincere (that's too easy to see through), some pretend to be honest (don't every try lying to scorpios, you lose), some pose as holy virgins (oh come on, virginity is not worth much nowadays), some try so hard to have dying love for XXX (when they are already sleeping with someone else). Best Oscar Award goes to????
Tips on how to stage a succesful drama:
1. Make sure that the weather is on your side ( Thunder storms are perfect for soap operas)
2. Make sure that there are enough audience to spread your legendary story.
3. Make sure your audience are dumb enough to believe you.
4. Bring some eye-mo ( In case you ran out of tears )
5. Have a sumptous meal before that. (You woudn't want your stomach growling while staging halfway )
6. Get all neccesary props ready and make sure that they are in working condition. ( Breakable bottles?)
7. Make sure all leading roles are timely chorographed.
8. Plan your speech well, don't stutter too much and forget your lines. ( Rehearsals needed?)

Had been thinking a lot about "waiting". What is the state of mind when someone is waiting for something? The wonderful images that appears in one's mind when they think of the ideal outcome, waiting can be beautiful. But what if things don't turn out the way it should? Greater disappointment? The greatest challenge in life comes when something negative is coming your way. You know it's coming and one have to just wait for it to come. I guess only a mentally strong willed person can survive that kind of torment, and i simply admire them. Well, it's always dramas of life that nurtures a stronger person, so that he can brave through tougher storms in future. The making of a better man?

New Year Resolutions

Dina asked for my new year resolutions in the tag board and i suddenly realised i didn't make any. Oops, being too laxed on myself i guess. Hmm...Here it goes

1. Finish my masters degree.
2. Finish my 3 months army.
3. Find a good paying job
4. Make sure my family and friends are well and good.
5. Stay away from jerks
6. Lose another 5Kg
7. Learn a new skill
8. Visit a country other then Malaysia.
9. Eat more good food.
10. Get a date?