Meeting eyes

It's another weekend. Friday clubbing was great, got high on alcohol...drama drama... played mahjong at punggol after that. Saturday was lousy, not enough sleep, pissed off by a lot of things. Have to learn to take things lightly bah, and this will make me a happier person, less worries, less anger. Quite sympathise some people who gets upset or unhappy over minute things in life, their life is full of unhappiness and suspicion. If every dollar and cents in your life has to be fulfilled, kind of overly calculative, which i think really makes a life miserable or rather difficult.

Our eyes met every weekend, and both will shun away, i guess i still can't get him off my life. Fate fate fate..... but i just can't come to terms with it. The last conversation we had just keep haunting within me, guess it really had a great impact on me.

Time for a change

I've always been skeptical about being good looking.....does it last? Yes you can be a pretty boy when you are young but ultimately age will come looking for you, and botox will be your next best friend. From head to toe, fake stuffs will soon emerge and soon you will look like a freak with a face of 20 and age of 40. Sounds scary? I guess charisma is the thing that we have to cultivate to age gracefully, so what if you are gorgeous looking but lacks the ability to carry it out. In the end you will just be an advertisement ( attention seeking for a 60 secs ), and after that? Alas.....turn off! reminds me of ah lians carrying LV accessories. Wahaha.

I've came across a few guys with average looks but with an exceptional aura that makes them so attractive. And i guess they will still be attractive 20 years down the road. this is what i call eternal beauty. yeah!

Change change change..... is it time again to make changes? Somtimes changes are made for the sake of changing.... just because sticking to the same thing sometimes is kinda boring. Shall i shave my head bald this time? lolx.... i know it's disastrous but what's wrong with looking ugly? hehe... I guess it is tiring to appear your best all the time, hiding the ugly or plain side of yourself too much isn't that healthy afterall. And ultimately your partner will see you without make-up and hair-do one morning and gets a shock of his life. Is that part of growing up? Or just plain excuse for being lazy....haha..

Haven't bought anything for months.....getting itchy! Hmm..... $$$$....sigh....

Shawn's birthday is coming. Wonder if anyone remembers his chinese birthhday. 5 years liao....sigh... Hope he's doing great.

Hope i dream of something to change tonight. Hehe....zzzzzzzzzzzzz

I've Lost

Kept asking myself this question, seems that settling down is getting harder as i get older....Why is that so? Pondering....

Just read through my past blog entries months ago....looking back...relieve?regret? It's over anyway.

Dreamt of Lp last week, realised that i really miss him a lot, but i guess he still think otherwise. Called him but seems that he didn't really want to chat with me.

Ended a date that i quite treasured weeks ago..... Guess dragging on will hurt him further. Friends say i'm the bad guy again ... guess so.... but that doesn't mean i feel good does it? Relationship phobia, the word commitment now scares me, i use to love it so much. Sigh...

J thinks i'm a slut. Guess it makes him feel better, can't control myself when i saw him hugging someone at the bar counter last friday, and finally the tears flowed. Dawn saw me and thought i was tearing because i was drunk. Can't stop myself, called gary to ease the tension. For so long, why can't i just let it go? Move on! can't stop thinking.

Went back to punggol flat after so many months.... felt different. No more married couple, sister-in-law left. Now i see my friends staying there, a loving couple.....so sweet...happy for them. Cheers! Looking forward for alvin di to bbq at the sky garden outside....such a great place!

Anson got enlisted liao....wahahaha....time for him to grow up i guess. Hope he will be a better man after his bmt. Will see him when he books out...lolx...mr. botak.

Clubbing seems so empty recently, or am i too used to it. Same songs, same drink, same faces and same drama? Can't seems to quit clubbing.... guess there's nothing much to do other than that on weekends nights. Kind of miss the days with Ked and Gary at marina mandarin lounge.

Jack is out of love again, guess it's another distress period for him again. hope he get over it soon. Just realised we've known each other for quite long, from the time we started dating 4 years back. Time flies....He seems to have matured quite a bit.

Kind of lost with my life now.... lost the drive to do stuffs, lost the faith in love, lost the trust i had.