7th Aug

Felt so weighed down today. Was supposed to meet elf for high tea at 3pm, at 250pm, i called him to meet at Bugis instead as i suddenly felt like visiting the temple to pray. 254pm, i received sms from dawn saying that his mum passed away. I stunned for a few seconds, stopped my car at the roadside. Continued driving again, on my way along nicoll highway, i thought of the times i met this lady, tears fell.

I never knew her name actually, I only know she's Mrs. Ng, Alvin's dearest mummy. We spoke less than ten sentences. When i first heard about her in January, she's already a cancer patient. She was a brave lady, struggling with cancer till her last breath on 7th August 2006. I had heard her scolding Alvin through the phone, I have heard her calling out for him while talking to him on the phone. I've seen her pictures, smiling happily with her sons. I finally met her in April when i took JenJen to the vet. She had the kind smile, and exceptional tone which seems like we have known for very long.

I prayed at the temple. 2 months ago, I was praying at the same place for 7 days, asking for her good health. 2 months later, I'm at the temple grieving over her departure. I wondered whether it was buddha who made me come. Though i wasn't really part of her life, her story did fill in mine at this period of my life. She's proud to have a fillial son, a son who never fails to care and protect her, whom she brags about in church. He has dedicated all his time and energy for his dearest mummy, and strived hard to keep her going on. He touched my heart. My deepest consolence to you, 小猴子.

Let's observe a moment of silence for this strong-willed madam.

The Story of the Toilet Bowl Cover

Was watching the seven o'clock serial, saw this phrase which left a deep impression: When one reach the extreme of sadness, it is the point where there's not a single drop of tears left. At this point of time, why don't you give a smile, and you might feel better. There are many sources of happiness we can search in: family, friends, accomplishment and helping others. Dad has taught me since young to help friends in need, and never hesitate to offer a hand as you never know when you need their help.

I found myself helping people umpteen times but was not always appreciated, and in fact taken granted for. It does hurt sometimes when after doing so much, it is just seen as a natural thing or even worse, get back shit treatment. Is it a natural process for those being treated badly to be continuously treated badly by others? When will this vicious cycle stop? Pondered over this topic after i visited the toilet at sushi tei last week. I went in the cubicle, and saw the usual sight of the toilet bowl's cover being drizzled by urine. ewww. What will the usual reaction be? Wipe it clean or continue to pee with the cover on as it is too dirty to lift it up with my hands? I guess the normal reaction will be continue to pee, but isn't that adding on to the damage? Or you might be thinking that since it's already dirty, there's no difference whether your pee is there or not?

I guess the day you find happiness will be the day you meet someone who cherish and respect you; just like someone who can take the initiative to clean the toilet bowl cover; and not just treat you like shit like the previous one has done. Weird comparison though, but don't you see the similarity there? So did I clean it in the end? Lol....Well, I didn't clean it, neither did I use it. I just washed my hands and left. But i will still wish to curse the bloody asshole who started peeing without lifting the cover!!!! What kind of upbringing is that? is it because it is a public toilet, or the person is simply covered with faeces naturally? Sorry to bitch but i really can't stand inconsiderate people. I believe in karma, so if you don't wish to be sipping someone else's urine while drinking your favourite coffee, start to be considerate!!