LP Smsed Me!

Got a surprise today when Lp messaged me that he saw sasa in camp. Though it was a simple message, I was delighted. Missed him a lot, and glad that he's doing fine in camp. Hope he will become more matured and open up himself. Guess he's coping fine. yeah!

Went fish & co with my buddies and had a feast! haha...so full after that!

Appreciating my peaceful life. Though nothing great to be celebrated, i reminded myself to feel contented that things are still going fine for me. At least nothing really bad is happening. Stay healthy and be happy! Oh yes, thanks for the comments for my blogs, looking forward for more!

Touched

Just watched the 跑吧孩子 vcd, got really touched by the movie. Tears nearly fell at the scene when the little girl was running to help her mum. Reminds me of how someone can overcome obstacles in life for the sake of love, the scene was such inspiring. The girl indeed deserved her award , she was definitely amazing! i was simply captivated by her tears.

Learning to be contented, hmm, guess it's quite hard for us in this realistic environment. Nonetheless, I guess we just have to constantly remind ourselves of that, the way to happiness. 知足常乐.... sounds simple, but can we do it? While people are striving to survive and we are here complaining about not enough enjoyment.

Beginning to realise that adulthood gets tougher as years goes by, the worries and problems gets more and more. Heavier responsibilities? Guess i'm spouting nonsenses again, haven't slept since yesterday after i woke up at 5pm. Hoping to switch back to normal sleeping timing. Sigh....abnormal human. Yawn.......

Someone asked me yesterday. Aren't you lonely? Why are you single for so long? Have been avoiding this question for so long....... I just don't know what to say. Maybe i don't even dare to ask myself.

Little things in life

Been leading a peaceful life the past weeks. Was thinking about "adding meaning to little things in life". Maybe i was too bored, been thinking about lame stuffs, but i personally find it quite meaningful. Was doing some housework as mum was in China, thought about how she managed to do all this everyday for 30 years. That's love. Thought about every stroke of the mop should be made for love, for cleaning the place for your loved ones. Every grain of dust cleared adds to a little health for your family. That's what love is about?

Was quite pissed just now. It was really worthwhile that i put my old ugly pic in msn. It was then i realise that there were so many hypocrites and jerks in my msn list. They chatted with you because you looked appealing to them and when they thought that pic is actually me, one blocked me and another say i cheated. For dignity sake, i clarified using my cam. And they have the cheek to request to chat again! My God! Shallow humans.

Was sitting at the pool cafe after swimming. Kind of quiet today as it was raining soon then. Thought about what i chatted with junior that day. Being not naive is only a portion of growing up, i guess accepting the hurting truth is another stage. Being trapped at the first stage is quite traumatising, immersing in so many unacceptable facts in your life. Guess we are all still learning.

Chatted with Ked yesterday. Glad that he's happy and moving on. He said Albin is good to him. Contented! Been a year liao since he broke up with zw...time flies. He liked the present very much...hehe....took me 3 hours to shop for it and half an hour to pick.

Life is back to normal liao. Mum's back and no more housework for me! Yeah! Feel better..... Think i took mum for granted. Was wondering why i can't sleep at night.... is it because i'm avoiding the perpetual feeling before i sleep, the kind of troubled and lonely sentiments. Hmm...being happy for the rest of the day and just a few minutes of unhappiness isn't that bad i guess.

I finally send the sms. Was contemplating for weeks. At least i got a nice reply. Feel much better.

Resting

Stopped clubbing for a month....how do i feel? Relaxed...... It gets kind of frustrating at first when there's nothing to do on friday's and saturday's night.... well it got through. Vcds, mahjong, steamboat, coffee, warcraft....Hmm....back to the point why i stopped clubbing-> health sake. Less smoke, less alcohol. Well, i do feel better these days.

Have been swimming for the past 2 weeks. Much tanner, kind of worried for my skin again. BUT... swimming is good for asthma. Quite a few friends asked me why the sudden change again.... haha... scorpios are indeed unpredictable. What spurs me on in life....what hit me in fact?

Five years ago, an unexpected rejection created the jaron who thought looks was everything in this circle. He changed ... for the better or worst? i still can't find the answer today. But all i knew from that day onwards, he gets hurt again and again. Until he thought that looks actually wasn't that important, what's the point of being good-looking...in the end...all was just a hoax.

I made a test and i lost again. Humans are realistic creatures.... Looks are still important not matter how kind u are. Not only looks.... money....status... and all u can find in this materialistic world. How about letting go of my dream of true love.... maybe i should find someone who is better looking, taller, richer, smarter than i am.

Seeking similarity... "hey i love that song too!" "I have that colour too!" "i love to eat that too!" The affinity towards similarity is so convenient. We are somehow made to believe the compabability when similarity arises. Have we ever thought of accepting the difference? Trying to accept the way your partner is. Not mentioning appreciating, accepting can be the first step, and when the day u can tell yourself:"i love the way he snores when he sleeps." that love......

I still remember the conversation with alfie years back: When we say love....it's not about watching movies, having meals or even living together. And of course not about sex between them. It goes back to the feeling between the two, and the kind of sacrifice one is willing to make: like donating one of your kidneys. Am i willing to do that? until today i think i can't... maybe to shawn.

Jeff is leaving again....2 months... hopes things goes well with his new bf. Guess he really needs someone to take care of him. So messy!

Singlehood feels kind of refreshing....no commitment, freedom, carefree, less worries, tons of free time, blah blah blah....am i'm finding excuses for my loneliness? be it retribution or what....that's my life i guess.