Keep left or keep right?

Was on my way home, driving leisurely, a sudden surge of philosopic thought came, what kind of attitude do i have in life?

As we all know, on the road, keep right when overtaking and only the faster vehicles takes the outer right lane, similarly on an elevator, slow ones keep left. Am i someone who keep right or keep left? My answer is definitely the former, i'm someone who can't waste time in travelling, same in my life, i don't wish to dwell in things that are wasting my time. But back to that question of keeping left or right, not everyone's answer is the same i suppose. There are many out there enjoying every moment of their life taking a slow pace. 那又何长不是一件好事.

Well, and there are those who hogs up the right lane, happily driving without realising that they are such a pest. ( Please feel guilty if you are one of them!)Just like in life, there are always jerks around messing up everything in life. And if you are not careful, you ram into others and alas, you can't move anymore. Hipcups in life are unavoidable, get it settled and move on then.

What about traffic jams? Well, there are times in life that we feel so 无奈, but there's nothing much we can do about it. Just keep your cool and time will tide you over. And yes, don't go too fast, cos there's always the traffic police hiding somewhere. And for those who never check blind spots when you switch lanes, you ought to be shot! Keep your car at home and take a cab!

Tomorrow is christmas eve, seems like the mood is really gloomy this year. I miss those days when all close friends join for a sumptous dinner and club. Well, it seems like the bond is gone. Oh well, hope tings change for the better.

如燕

Nice Song! Didn't like it initially, the more i listen to it, l'm in love with it! Lyrics is really beautiful!



愿意合上眼才能美梦无边
别让悔熏乌了从前
也许碎片才能让回忆展颜
何妨瓷花拼凑明天
谁带我寻获幸福的模
却自己谜中困锁
谁为我留下缱绻的天涯
信物是抹晚霞
思念如燕它飞舞舌尖
若是真爱配尝几分苦甜
意念婆娑时间里推磨
追随到何处才结果
燕如针线在青空缝编
几幅女红将以泪缀点
誓言斑驳情雾只是经过
风雨中且让我盈步婀娜

你是好人，我是坏人

Was watching the mtv on Ked's blog, 坏人. Really found it meaningful when the guy had to force himself to be cruel so that his ex can move on with another guy. I guess that is love too. Can i bring myself to do it? I guess it takes a lot of courage and magnimousity to be able to let go in this case.

Was browsing my friendster list and stumbled upon Adrian's profile. Well, i guess the feeling was really uncomfortable when i was reminded what they did. I guess they are happily together now, or maybe not, whatever it is, I'm already the third party.

"我们分手吧" I guess this phrase was verbally used umpteen times between us, but i guess this time i have to say the final time to the person staying in my heart all this while. Love took me away, and reality brought me back eventually. I guess i really have to say goodbye.

Was chatting with little botak and he said something quite extreme which i found it very true also. He told me that he will not be a very good new friend cos he thinks that it is unfair to his best friends. Amidst the everyday life of meeting different people, getting close to those whom you think might be a worthwhile friend, have you actually neglected those who are already with you for the longest possible and had never left you?

Kino sent a greeting sms to me a few days back:" Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest,or who came first, or who cares more.... It's all about who came and nver left. Happy friendship day!" I didn't know it was friendship day or not, haha, but that sms really gave me some warmth.

Went to ECP on Saturday afternoon with Ked, i cycled and he bladed for almost 2 hours, and we crapped throughout the whole 2 hours. And yes, not a single eye candy, disappointing. Weather was really great, breezy and cooling. Not forgetting about the ugly uncle cruising at the Fort road carpark!! Wahaha. Guess what? That scandalous Ked went back to ECP at night to blade and he broke his blade's buckle. Dunno what he do, must be so vigorous that broke the buckle... :X

The Truth hurts

I promised Ked I'll put this in my next post:

We were having a casual talk in his car and struck upon the topic of treatment by friends. People come and go in our lifes, there are times where a particular person treats you exceptionally well for various reasons, but will he do that for the rest of your life? And so how do you feel if that particular person stop being nice to you?

I guess if you think someone is a worthy friend, you will treat him even better as time goes by. Don't just treat someone nice just because of ulterior motives and gives disappointment later when you stop liking him. Self reflection time: For the past 5 - 10 years, who has been around for you when you needed someone? Who has sincerely treated you as a friend? Who has been looking after you and not at all calculative with you?

Had a jog in the evening, it was drizzling, but i guess i need a run off from my emotions. After so many days, it came down on me finally. I avoided everything, put up a happy face for the past weeks, carried on working, pretend that nothing much has happened.

I was jogging in the park, no one around as it was raining, tears fell. It was then i realised that i did miss him. Scenes after scenes flashed through my mind:

What is the feeling if you found out that your partner cheated on you, not once, but many times?
How would you feel if he slept with someone right in your very own house?
How would you feel if your friend knew about it but kept it to themselves?
And how does it feel when you try your best to support someone financially but you realised after one year that all was just fake excuses?

And finally, how does it feel like when all of the above strikes you at the same time? And no one is righteous enough to stand up for you, and people thinks that you have asked for it since you get such a young kid for your partner. Who have realised that I actually felt so 委屈 and helpless? And the intense pain that I went through in facing all the truths, the truth hurts, it really hurts.

I guess i don't really blame anyone, just really disappointed that things happened in such a way. Be it love or friendship, I did put in my heart and soul in managing it, but i guess i'm a failure. I don't wish to cry, but i guess it's natural when one is sad, I never wanted to appear weak, but i think i need to face my emotions somehow.

I guess it's fate afterall, thanks to a kind soul who enlightened me about everything. And most of all, a big hug to my dearest buddy Ked, thank you for being there for me.

I've changed my bed sheets, a heart warming birthday gift from Ked to let me forget the past.
I've changed my mobile phone.
I've changed my ring.
I've changed my bag.
I'm changing myself.

Can i change my heart? I really hope i can.


An Angel's Tears

I took your hand from the hell you were from
Love began
Satan desires desouled the angel
You forsaked me
Love ends

Fear not,
For I have wings to fly up high
From above
I watch how darkness befalls you