I Cried

I cried reading the smses you've sent.
I cried holding on to the phone but u didn't answer.
I cried looking at the 2 blackies.

Staring blankly at the comp for 2 days. Seems like a zombie now. When love takes the wrong path, it becomes hurt. Locked myself in the room, reflecting on all that had happened...... was it really fated? Guess he did the right thing, leaving someone who doesn't know how to support him when he needed him.

Overheard mum talking on the phone last week. She's having problems with dad. "I know the kids will follow me if we split." Shocking....... I have no courage to face what is ahead. They had a fight on sunday i guess, the room door knob practically cracked. Mum locked the door in anger i guess. Will they divorce? Sigh.... Another down period....I wished he's was with me, but it's too late.

Seems like it's another prank heaven played. When I wanted to let go, he asked for a chance to continue our path. I thought we could walk it through together. Never thought that he could leave me to continue this path alone...... 对他而言，这只是一个未实现的诺言，对我而言，却是一道很深的伤疤。

"Making your partner happy when he is sad. This is the most contented thing i would feel. " This is what he told me. I failed to do so. I told him my only happiness now in life is you, and if you gonna leave, i will fall. I really fell, into a deep ravine that i can't seek the way out. Tears just fall unconsciosly.

I force myself to sleep...It's the only time i don't think of him. The feeling when i wake up is so painful, the thought of him not in my life anymore.

When Two Paths Meet

People are asking why my blog seems dead..lolx. sorry guys! I've been busy dating. Nothing exciting, nothing fanciful, but a sweet little life for the both of us. Both of us are trying to know each other more meanwhile, getting use to all the bad habits, and of course realising the sweet side of him.

Understanding oneself and understanding others was never easy for most of us. It takes ages for me to realise what i wanted in life, and i'm still in the process of discovering more of it. Understanding others is considered a routine of my life, I have always been trying to know why certain people do certain things, and the difficult part is accepting it, worst of all, empathise with them. Sympathy isn't something most of us desire, pride takes in charge, but empathy is something that links people together.

Two weeks ago, dad flared up because me and brother was late for ONE minute. Gosh! To him, relationship between us is based on him as an elder and he expects 100% obedience, and a father will never wait a minute for his son. I told mum, it is not wrong for him to think that way, but if he's gonna build a relationship between us based on whether i'm on time or not, i guess it's not gonna be healthy for all of us. Dictatorship is already the past, and why can't we get along like friends?

快乐是我的 不是你给的 幸福要自己负责 (abstarcted from Jolin's song 柠檬草的味道), these few phrases were quite meaningful. To be happy with a half filled glass or upset with an half emptied glass is actually up to the individual. Life can be bad and unlucky, but i'm sure there's always something in your life that's worth your smile. Be glad with what you hold and begone with what you have lost. You can own the whole world, but if you are not contented, you will not be happy.

Some small little incidents that i found my moments of happiness with him:
1. He bought me a bottle of almond tea.
2. He held my hand in the car.
3. He ordered soya bean for me!
4. Sms: I miz u!
5. He wanted my attention.
6. He got jealous!