For Mum

Dedicating this song to all the great mums.

The hand that touch my forehead when i was sick. I still remember when i was in primary school, whenever i'm sick, mum will sit beside my bed and press lightly on my forehead... i felt better. No matter what wrong i did, she will always help me to solve it regardless of how disapointed she was. I still remember to thank her in my heart on my birthday, as what dad said , she was in pain the day you were born. Mum, you are great.

Another hour to count down. 7 days of vegetarian.... i finally completed my vow. Well, it seems short, but it was kind of hard for me...a borned-glutton to take vegetarian for a week. Been at the temple everyday....praying.... asking for xxx good health...An insignificant act but my little 心意. Thought through a lot of stuffs while praying.... i asked a lot of questions, found some answers in the end. I shouldn't have made others unhappy while trying to find my happiness. To let go might be a better path for us. To forgive and accept is the route to happiness.

It was saturday night. In my car driving , had just asked albin to pass him his present, tears just fell after that. I felt confused..... maybe it's because i know he's opening the present, and inside me, i felt 舍不得.... cos it was my final effort made for him, and our paths parted from that moment. I drove on the road, tears just keep falling, and memories just keep flashing in my mind, seems like letting me having a last look at it. I drove to the bus stop, we once had our burgers there at midnight.... i drove to the lane when we ate in the car...i looked at the passenger seat, where i used to hold his hand, and once his head on my arm..... looking back...I know it's time to let go.

I replied his sms saying that i know what's he wants for us, he said i still don't understand him. I thought for very long, I don't understand what he wants because he don't wish to tell me straight. I was never good at guessing, I can only take what i see. For the past weeks, i kept finding excuses to make myself feel better, but it's only deceiving myself. There were times i missed him deeply, but i held back smsing him, cos i know it's not gonna help. Glad he liked the present, at least i've done what i wished for: to make him happy. Saw this in my friend's msn : 在没有你的地方辽伤, 只有时间陪伴着我...felt exactly like it.

Thanks for all the concern friends..... I'm alright... standing strong! Cos there's still something in me that gives me strength!

Having You

I stood at the corridor every night, staring at the night lights, I will start thinking of you, tears will just flow unknowingly.

How can two person finish their life journey together? When one is tired, the other has to offer his hand and give him the strength to move on. So what if when both are tired? Would taking a break helps? Life still goes on no matter what, one of them has to initiate to carry on the journey, or it will have to end.

Learnt a valuable lesson in life, if you truly love someone, curb your anger and swallow the hurting words. Cos the regret will be deeper if I continue to hurt him with my words. Realised that my past relationships failed because of the revenge cycle, getting back at him doesn't make myself feel better or happier, only more hurt. We are humans afterall, and hurting words just fly in heated arguements, but after that..... it is all remorse and wounds. I've learnt to do that, after so much trials, but i still failed......failed to keep him in my life.

Talked to buddy, told him that how different this relationship is to me. Things we went through, the life we shared, the bond we had. The heartache strikes me while i told him all these, the memories just flowed back... felt so near but yet so hard to have it again. I have always wanted a story of my own, a story i can write until i can't write anymore. He shared that dream with me, and this believe kept me moving on. I told myself, leaving him doesn't mean the end, if there's love, the story goes on. My life was filled up and emptied once again. There were anger, laughter, sadness and happiness throughout, thinking back, i didn't regret having him in my life.